Today. Or, yesterday.

It feels like today, but at 12:23am it's actually yesterday. And I can't fall asleep because my mind is too busy asking me if I really know what I am doing. I have this nagging worry that things are going to implode; that this delicate balance of work, homeschooling, child-rearing, farming and gardening that I am just barely managing to hold together, is going to erupt into chaos or fall apart at any moment. The interior of the house is already at that point, and I'm feeling a bit...well...out of control.

I suppose that the only thing I can control, is that I have actually, on my own, chosen all of those passions to pursue.

But, despite all the lavender I surround myself with tonight, it's just been a tough day. 

Garden tilled and waiting for me to play. Also included but not in view, two more plots to make room for some expanding crops.

We have two new friends! Violet and Lucy just joined the flock, and they are pretty amazing. Softest coats, and sweetest personalities. They are not so sure about the guinea hens, however.

May.

Oh how I love this month! While the general chore load has increased exponentially, the weather at least makes it thoroughly enjoyable. Daffodils, tulips, dandelions, violets, birds singing, bees humming, black flies biting...

Well, there's always an antagonist in a good story, isn't there?

These littlest ones work hard, play hard, and sleep hard. I woke up one morning to find this helper in our bed. (Oh, to know what her dreams were of!)

I came across these images from last summer, and was reminded of what is to come. When we are in the midst of the working, sweating, harvesting, canning and freezing, it is sometimes difficult to remember that this lifestyle is a choice, and one that I would not trade for any amount of money. It is what grounds me, and awakens my soul. By the end of the season, I feel fulfilled in a way that cannot be described to anyone who has not had the experience of being weary to the bone by the end of the day, with fingernails and hands encrusted with dirt and smelling of sunshine and warmth.

I am ready.

Surprise!

Snow! At the end of April! It went as quickly as it came, though. And, I am once again reminded that nature always wins, no matter how grand our technology and accurate the predictions. 

Can you see all the snow outside the window?! Nonetheless, we enjoyed having a bit of a reprieve from outside chores and garden prep. A fire was lit in the wood stove, and serious play and creativity ensued. Dress up, tea parties, snowman making, yarn spinning, and, of course, knitting. 

And then there is all of this yarn. There has been a whole lot of experimentation in that department as of late, both with colors and patterns. I feel that with each dye project I fall a little more in love with this blend...the mohair gives it such luster and depth of color. And with each knitting project begun and completed (or ripped out and started over), I am learning which patterns, needle size, and design elements work best for this line.

I am in love with that orange-ish color...dyed with yellow onion skins and madder root, especially next to some of the blues, dyed with indigo. That gray-ish color in the second photo (actually a little green in real life) was black beans. I had a very, very smelly kitchen for a few days.

That one above is Cora's variegated indigo skein. I'm a little bit envious. 

That yellow colored skein was dyed with red onion skins. It's really quite lovely outside in the sun...it makes my mouth water. Its pure golden sunshine.

These two were meant to be together, don't you think? Now to find a pattern..

Happenings.

I sit here this evening with the warmth of a little sunburn tingling on my skin. I feel happy, content and filled to the brim in only the way a days work outside and in the earth can provide. Today was a day of seed sowing and yarn dyeing, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. 

Surprise! We have two little Finn ewe lambs joining our flock next month. This was a part of the plan that would take place next year, but really, when these two girls became available in our own town, how was I supposed to say no? And joining them in July, will be three more Angora goats. Oh my. On a personal note, I feel that angora kids are quite possibly the sweetest things on earth. 

And yes, this little one appears to be hugging my son.

Spring and other things.

Today, dear neighbors and friends of ours lost their entire house to a fire. My intention with this post was to write about Spring and its blessed arrival, but my mind and heart are filled with sadness and grief for this couple and their loss. Today was a beautiful, warm day, humid and full of the smells and sounds of the earth waking up. All day I was so grateful for the changing of the seasons, and, maybe just a little, wishing for more (after today the temps plummet again to the 30's!). 

And tonight, I am not wishing for more. I am just thankful for what I have. Thankful that we have our home to surround us, in all of its 70's-era avocado green glory. A place to contain our memories and keep us safe. I am so very grateful that we were able to offer food, shelter, love and whatever else, to these two dear people.

And so, dear and lovely spring, I give thanks to you for what you are. I will not wish for more, or different, I will just be.